The Last Temptation of Crust…

pizzaWell, actually the Latest Temptation of Crust would be more accurate!

So a few days ago I wrote about my extreme anxiousness at being denied my weekly donut infusion. Well, over the last few days I have struggled through and I am finally at stage five in the grieving process – acceptance.

Stage three was a hoot, trying to make a deal with a higher power. Very difficult for an atheist to do and have it mean anything. I finally decided I would write an email to the only higher power I could think of that could help me out here….James Morgan, CEO of Krispie Kreme.

In it I asked him if he would only produce a donut that tasted exactly the same as their current chocolate covered glazed offering, but that contained 0 (that is zero) calories, that I, in exchange, would agree to in the future, only eat Krispie Kreme donuts and make sure my family did the same. I got no response surprisingly…you know what they say about praying – sometimes the answer is no :(

So I moved on to stage five (after a very brief stop at stage 4).

Unfortunately I have a new, and similar challenge…pizza. Pizza is the second leg of my gateway food triumvirate (donuts, pizza, and Pop Tarts). Thus far I had been able to sort of ignore this problem as I hadn’t been exposed to pizza recently…until last night. I was at a meeting I attend monthly (no not Donuts anonymous), and as a treat for those in attendance four glorious Bricks Pizzas were there waiting for us. The biggest challenge was having to sit there while these delicious circles of succulence called me for the entire meeting…I can smell them now.

I am proud to say I resisted, but am going through some feelings of regret today. Regret is the way pizza lovers experience withdrawal.

As a consolation, and as a way to get past my craving I tried to imagine the two snicker doodles I had at home waiting for me. That did the trick…but it wasn’t the same. I imagine it was similar to the way smokers think about nicotine gum…meh, but ok!

Well hopefully the next time pizza enters my life I will be able to resist it more easily….and that there isn’t a box of Pop Tarts sitting next to it! Shudder!

Oh well…oh btw I have dropped 1.5 pounds since I restarted my diet!

All for now,


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are-we-there-yetIn the summer of 1975 my family –  myself, my Mom, Dad, Sister Katy and Brother Mike – piled into our Ford LTD and embarked on a  cross country trip from St. Louis Park, MN to Carmel, CA.

Along the way we stayed at such illustrious destinations as  Des Moines, IA, Lincoln, NE, Grand Junction, CO, Denver, CO, and Salt Lake City, UT. We stayed over night at the Grand Canyon, spent two nights in Vegas Baby, three days at Disney Land and finally reached our destination of Carmel, CA where we stayed for a few days with our Aunt Flo. On our way back we visited the Grand Tetons, stayed two nights at Yellowstone, stopped at Mt. Rushmore, and then after an all night drive of about 1000 miles arrived back home.

Quite a trip

As my brother and sister will tell you it was a great trip…except for the trip part.

Three kids aged 14, 12, and 9 stuck together on a 4000 mile trip in the back seat of a Ford LTD makes for a very toxic combination.

We didn’t always smell the best, running along trails, hiking mountains, and sitting under the hot sun in a car with a somewhat iffy air conditioning unit made for some pretty odoriferous days.

Each of us was constantly trying  get as comfortable as possible in that cramped space, so would take any advantage we could to stretch out. This often resulted in waking up from a brief snooze with someone’s dirty, stinky feet in your face. More importantly however, it resulted in some epic backseat fights, complete with screaming, punching, pinching, biting, hair pulling….and some excellent sarcasm!

We actually reduced our mother to tears, which was quite a feat as anyone who knew our mother can tell you. We felt bad at the time, but now kind of look on it as an accomplishment in a weird sort of way!

My brother and I tried paying our sister to lay on the floor of the car so we could stretch out more easily. She thought this was a good deal at first. But as anyone who rode in those old cars will remember, there was a  hump on the floor that covered the drive shaft. So, after about 10 minutes of trying to curl up on one side of the hump, or trying to stretch out over it,  she reneged on the deal and the fighting started all over again!!!

And finally, there is one word that can described an additional unpleasant experience related to that trip. And that word is…Dashiki!

I still can’t talk about it…

Anyway, I have described this in such detail to illustrate how starting a diet can feel. As you can imagine, the major refrain from the back seat of that blue Ford LTD, one that repeated itself over and over again was – ARE WE THERE YET!

No matter how long we had been driving we never seemed to get closer…until we were there. That is what dieting feels like at first…and that is what I feel like right now! It seems impossible that I will ever get to my final destination.

Luckily, I have memories of that trip to California, because no matter how much screaming, fighting, and stinkiness there was, and no matter how many times we wailed ARE WE THERE yet because it seemed like we never would get there….we ultimately did!

All for now!



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No Donuts? WTF?

many-donutsEvery Saturday for the last two years I have stopped at 7-11 to get two chocolate covered glazed donuts.

It would not be exaggerating to say my entire work week was consumed by anxious anticipation as I looked forward to again acquiring those delectable pills of pleasure.

But…no longer….“Cry woe, destruction, ruin, decay: The worst is death, and death will have his day.”

Shakespeare wrote that one day when he discovered the cupboards were bare at Ye Olde Dunkin of Donut.

So, this morning, my first day back on the diet I started three years ago that was interrupted as I mentioned earlier, by an unfortunate alien abduction, my breakfast consisted of two eggs, toast, and….well that was it.

Kind of disappointing…especially since I won’t see any tangible results from eating well for a while. Kind of hard to see the point!

Well I just have to tough it out. I have a busy day today so hopefully I can keep my mind off of it…but I will have to take some time to grieve over those I have loved and lost! :(

All for now,


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I’m Baaaaaaack!!! Close Encounter of the Fat Kind!


fatalienWell I am back!

Two years after my last blog entry I have returned.

The aliens who abducted me finally returned me to Earth….dropping me off in Ashburn.

While I was their guest…unfortunately…they conducted fat infusion experiments on me that caused me to gain back nearly all the weight I had lost before they so rudely snatched me away.

So, because of this most unfortunate alien encounter I am starting over…and  I will be back to posting my progress and my daily food intake here.

Hopefully, as long as I have no further extraterrestrial interference I will be able to get to my goal weight of 200 pounds (or 14.2 Stone as our friends across the pond might say), before the end of the year!


All for now





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Quick Status…it Seems to be Working!

So, it seems to be working.

 About a week ago I wrote I would be cutting down my calorie intake because it appeared I had plateaued a bit on my weight loss. Since then I have gone from 1,1800 calories a day to 1,500. And the result is I lost 3.3 pounds during that time span. Just need to add in some exercise and I should be able to keep up the increased weight loss for quite some time!



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So it seems I have reached a bit of a plateau…only .8 pounds lost the last couple of weeks. I have been staying within my limits so my guess is I have reached the equilibrium point where my body has become so accustomed to my diet it has lowered my metabolism enough to keep me from losing much more…so…I’m gonna have to change things up a bit.

Those of you who have ever been on weight watchers know that after a certain percentage of weight loss your daily point allotment goes down. Looks like I will have to do the same. So I am going to drop from 1,800 calories max a day to 1,500. I will also need to ramp up my activity level some. Luckily spring has arrived here in Northern Virginia. My son has told me he is going to do his part to keep me on track by taking walks with me at least three days a week.

Hopefully all of this will induce my body to go..”what the F is goin on here”…and allow me to shed more poundage!!!

I will post my progress here

All for now



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Avoiding “Default Backup Syndrome”…McDonald’s Free for 88 Days

I’m finding one of the biggest challenges to losing weight is avoiding “Default Backup Syndrome.” Ok…I made up the name, but I bet everyone has it.

It usually hits you when your desire to expend any energy at all in getting something to eat is at its lowest. For me it often hits on the way home from work…I’m tired, the prospect of cooking, or even getting out of the car to get food is almost repulsive. I want to find the easiest, quickest, and least energy expending way to get food, get home, and eat. It also hits me when I am hungover…but that is another story.

Anyway, this leads you to patronize some establishment somewhere, probably close to home, that meets these goals. It’s the ultimate backup meal plan…the place where you go when nothing else seems desirable, or even possible. Hence “Default Backup Syndrome.”

For me, it’s McDonald’s.

The Golden Arches are like an oasis to me, someplace I know I can get food with the least possible physical and mental energy expended. Nothing is easier than just rolling up to the drive through, ordering my two McChicken Sandwiches, large fries, large Diet Coke, and Oreo McFlurry, going home, and digging in.

The problem of course is, the food you usually get at these places is not good for you…and is likely to be highly counter-productive to the goal of losing weight…so it must be avoided at all costs…

There are two ways to avoid it; either find a new default backup that serves “good for you” food, or make the extra effort no matter how you feel, not to fall into the default backup trap. The first option did not work for me. There are no places that combine the convenience, location, and yumminess of my local McDonald’s…so I’ve been force into option number two.

And, I am proud to say, I have been McDonald’s free for 88 days.

I still get the urge sometimes, to pop over there when my ass is really draggin’ …must be somewhat similar to a former smoker when they are in situations where they would normally have a cigarette…but it is getting easier to avoid!!

So bottom line; if you are trying to lose weight, watch out for “Default Backup Syndrome”

All for now!


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The Clothing Dilemma

So a new problem has reared its head…one that I don’t mind having I must say.

Now that I have lost 34 of the 90 pounds I need to shed, I find some of my clothing is starting (and I stress starting) to loosen up on me. Not so much that I can really drop a size yet, but loose enough to think I will be at the point soon where I will have to “downsize” my wardrobe. The dilemma is – I really need new clothes now! My “Big and Fat” collection is rather limited (a couple pairs of pants and a few shirts), that as anyone who knows me can tell you, I rotate through quite frequently. And, as anyone of my size will also tell you, fat clothes are also expensive clothes.

So, do I bite the bullet and buy new clothes now, knowing that in a couple of months they might be too big for me? Or…do I hang on, wearing the same limited wardrobe until I can get into the clothes I have been patiently saving for that magical day when I can fit into them again (leisure suit…ladies here I come)?

On one hand I would be saving money sticking to the current limited selection…but on the other, I have to worry that people will think I am either too lazy to do laundry, or have decided to start rocking the “hobo” look.

An even bigger problem from a money perspective is that I have a couple of events coming up where I will need to wear a suit. I don’t own a suit (except for the aforementioned leisure suit)…and I don’t want to buy a suit that will fit me now, but will be too big for me in a few months.

What to do?

Oh well, like I said, a good problem to have!

All for now





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Mental Gymnastics and The Challenge of the Buffet – And Another Milestone Reached!!

So this past weekend I was invited by my Aunt and Uncle to have brunch with them at the Army-Navy Club….which I gladly accepted, not only because I knew I would get a great meal, but also to have a nice time visiting with them. My uncle is currently going through his own weight-loss program, and has lost over 50 lbs!! (Great job Uncle Jim). Anyway, the challenge is that the Army-Navy Club has a great brunch buffet – omelets, home fires, sausage, bacon, biscuits and sausage gravy, and waffles….delish!!!

Now normally I would take this as an invitation to eat whatever amount of gloriousness I could pile onto my plate and still lift back to my table. This would mean at least two omelets, double scoop of home fries, three sausages, biscuit with a full scoop of sausage gravy, and two waffles slathered in butter and maple syrup. And of course….a diet coke!

Also, I believe it is a federal law that one must make at least two trips to the buffet to make it worthwhile. I mean really, if you only belly up once you might as well just order from the menu right?

So…as you can see this would result in a caloric intake that would probably exceed a weeks worth of normal meals. And I knew there was no way I was going to be able to even count the number of calories I was taking in, let alone stick within my limits. So I decided to employ a little mental manipulation that would give me the illusion of committing the sin of gluttony (or as the Borg would say…Sin 2 of 7) , without actually committing it. On the fly I came up with the half-half rule.

I decided I would take half as many scoops of an item as I normally would, and each scoop would be half the size. But I would allow myself to belly up as many times as I wanted. So instead of two omelets, I had one small one, instead of two full scoops of home fries I took half a scoop, instead of two tong fulls of bacon, I took half a tong, one ladle of sausage gravy became one-quarter of a ladle…and so on.

Lo and behold, I found that one helping of this bounty was almost enough…I went back for seconds (because of that aforementioned law), but took even less. I have no doubt had I piled on what I usually would, I definitely would have stuffed it all down. But by deciding ahead of time exactly how much I was going to take I was able to keep my intake within reason. I have no doubt I went over my limits, but it still felt like progress.


Also, I have reached another numeric milestone, I am now 30% of the way to my weight loss goal of 90 lbs. I have now lost 31.9 lbs!  Solo Wave Cheer!!!

All for now






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Stairway to Heaven (Well at least to the third floor)

So I am beginning to see some tangible benefits from my weight loss efforts (other than being able to report progress on this blog anyway). I have begun to notice that going up stairs is getting a lot easier.

At my heaviest climbing the three flights to my apartment was not a pleasant experience – my knees screamed in agony, and my lungs couldn’t figure out why the hell they were being asked to work so hard. But lately I have noticed I am able to bound up them more easily, even trotting up from time to time. And by the time I get there, my knees aren’t aching, my heart doesn’t feel like it is going to leap out of my chest and my lungs now barely whimper in protest.

All of this and I’m only 1/3 of the way to my goal.

I am really looking forward to future improvements…like being able to bend over to tie my shoes without holding my breath, and fitting into the clothes I have been patiently saving waiting for the day I would lose enough weight to fit into them again.

I know that it won’t be long before I will be able to again stun the ladies with my awesome denim leisure suit, seagull printed silk shirt, platform shoes, and puka shells!!! Oh yeah!!!

All for now!!!


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